I know that I pretty much promised that I wouldn’t write here again for a while, but something’s come up that is so related to my study-abroad experience that it won’t rest until it has been mentioned here.
Because, you see, reacclamating has been a lot harder than I expected it to be.
For one thing, it’s really hot in the United States right now, so though I believe I could walk many places (or ride a bike at the very least!), it’s just not healthy to do so for risk of heat stroke or something. That, compounded with gas prices (about which I didn’t have to worry while walking and riding public transportation in the UK) which have apparently skyrocketed since I left and now hover at the $4-a-gallon mark, have hit me quite suddenly and not altogether pleasantly. And if there were a hope that America might someday implement an efficient system of public transportation it wouldn’t be so bad, but that’s a pretty hopeless case.
Furthermore, I miss my friends. Before you get too worried, let me assure you that yes, I do have friends here in the States, too, but we don’t all go to the same church or live within walking distance of one another (for the most part), so I don’t see most of them as often as once a week. Besides, just as my CU friends didn’t replace my US friends, so my US friends can’t replace the CU friends, although seeing the US friends again will help a great deal (hint, hint…:) ). So that’s another pretty big reason that I’m having trouble adjusting.
But all of that isn’t even the real reason I’ve had so much trouble–not the BIG reason, anyway. I just discovered this one yesterday, and I’ve been mulling over it ever since: I’ve been so focused on the future that I have neglected the present. See, I’ve known for a little while now (which is to say probably a matter of several weeks) that I shall return to England some day–when, or for how long, is just a little sketchy at this point. But as soon as my plane left English soil, I started wanting to go back and planning the next trip in my mind–the “then and there.” It even crossed my mind, as we took my brother to the airport to send him to London, that I could just buy a plane ticket and return that very day!
The only problem is, that’s not in the game plan. Not yet. Just as I am convinced that I’ll be going back someday, I’m also sure that, for now, my calling involves finishing college here and teaching for four years to pay back the Teaching Fellows for helping pay my way through college. This year in particular, I have the privilege of serving InterVarsity as a small group leader, as well as serving Elevation Church in whatever capacity and serving Riverside in whatever ways I can. My calling, for the next two years, is to serve my churches and InterVarsity as well as I can while completing my degree to the best of my ability for the glory of God. That’s the “here and now,” and that’s where I am. And until the “then and there” becomes the “here and now,” it will just have to wait, I’m afraid. But it’ll come soon enough.
